Sex with Spenny: Social obligations, ultimatums and early birds

Comments (1)

Comment Feed

Oh please!

Why should anyone take you seriously?

Your train-wreck of a life isn't the fault of all your exes or of your business partner. You're the common denominator in all those relationships and have proven (for about the hundredth time *publicly*) that you're a complete self-serving narcissist with even less respect for the people who write you than for the people who watched you make (and lose) a bunch of money You're terrible, and not because Kenny Hotz made you look bad on TV. It's a personality flaw all your own, and the fact you treat people like crap - for example, the people foolish enough to believe you have actual advice for them - is sufficient proof. (For those not convinced, watch KvS, "Who can sell more Bibles?" and wait for the scene where Spencer says, "I'm not a narcissist; I'm a screen writer." That is the real him.)

And your age is NOT "off the record": It's on Wikipedia FFS!

You're almost 54...that's right, ladies and gentlemen; this guy turns 54...a few weeks from the time I write this.

God help anyone so hard up for advice they feel they must write you of all people. The best you can do for them is spelled out in the above words you wrote.

To Writer One: Don't give your BF an ultimatum. Talk to him frankly about it, but don't corner him. It's no victory to marry someone who felt pushed into it for fear of losing you. If ultimately you want one thing and he wants another, it's not going to work anyway.

To Writer Two: There are no universal stages. Best thing you can do is to start with respect: Don't get into a relationship with someone you don't respect. It is just downhill from there. If you start from the wrong place, you'll end up writing a bitter autobiography disguised as an advice column.

To Writer Three: Unless you want another go at it, a simple 'Hello. How are things?' should suffice. If you were a cheater or a total dick, then remeeting, especially in front of a current partner, is just karma - no way around the consequences - and you'll have muddle through it without a roadmap. Sorry it goes that way. The takeaway message is really, 'Don't treat people like crap, even if they're just there for a night. And don't cheat on a current partner.' Those two simple rules will save you from years of heart-and-headache.

...oh, and if you do want another go at it, Writer Three, then ask. Just remember to say "hello" first.

Fiver 187 days ago